My Child, My Gift:

 A Positive Response to Serious Prenatal  Diagnosis

 A well-researched yet easily understandable, positive guide when you need to make sense out of what seems to be senseless.

"If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hope."

---Clement of Alexandria

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Table of Contents

Forward

Preface

Understanding Your Doctor

Testimonials

Endorsements

Babies in Prayer

Additional Stories

Melody Fruit: A Parable

If You Had a Termination

Order Information 

Forum

Books and Videos

Links

The results of the blood test prompted the doctor to order an amniocentesis and ultrasound. It was fully paid for by the State of California, as would be the abortion. I was given a consultation, warning me of the risk for a woman my age giving birth to a child with a disability. This process was about Ben as a long-term expense to the state versus a short-term expense of an abortion. This would be the first of many experiences that would be a clear reflection of attitudes in the policies that guide the lives of people with disabilities and their families. My life's work would become a challenge to those attitudes. (Terry, mom of Ben who was born with multiple disabilities)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jonathan was diagnosed in utero with Potter's Syndrome, a condition that is incompatible with life. Despite doctors telling his mother that she "must terminate," Jonathan's parents continued the pregnancy. He was born at full term and lived an hour of love in his parents' arms.

TESTIMONIALS

Down Syndrome and Spina Bifida

Thank you so much for this book.

When my son was a newborn, I met a young counselor at a pregnancy aid office who treated me like the new mother I was when his older sister was born. He was very small, being born a month early, and he has Down syndrome. I don't remember what brought me to her office, only that I seemed to fall back into the mainstream world when we were talking. I think if we had not met, I would not have realized so early that my son's diagnosis had thrown me into some kind of out of sync subculture as his mom.

As I was preparing to leave the office, I thanked her for being so natural and authentic, or whatever set her apart from everyone else I had met. She told me that she was born with Spina Bifida, and had been diagnosed only a few years earlier. She was mildly affected and that delayed her diagnosis, although the condition caused challenges that were significant enough that she was relieved they could be explained when she found out.

She said that not being diagnosed at birth caused her to have many opportunities that she would have missed otherwise, and that she was also aware that if a prenatal test had been available she would most likely not have been born at all. She said that gave her a very different perspective on babies with disabilities and prenatal testing. It seems to me as though something far beyond that made her the person I found that day, but of course we will never know.

Seeing the web page about My Child, My Gift, reminded me of that life changing meeting. Thanks again for your book. 

Pam Wilson, Seattle, WA

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Defects incompatible with life in kidneys, heart, and bladder

My baby was born still on Easter Sunday 2007.  Some of his organs didn't develop properly, and he couldn't have lived outside the womb.  He died some time shortly before birth.  The autopsy showed that his kidneys, bladder and heart didn't develop properly.  They don't know why this birth defect sometimes happens.  The doctors were amazed he lived all the way to full term (42 weeks).  If a baby lives past birth with this, they usually die within the first day or so.  I'm so thankful he died with me and not in a NICU!

We are so grateful for the time we had with him.  Pregnancy is a special time that God has given to parents - especially mothers.  We get to know our child with increasing intimacy as we spend more time with them.  God in His Love for each one of us has given us parents to be examples of His parental Love for us.  Seek this Love from God and you will know how to care for your child. We have lost our child, but God has given us special knowledge that our son is with Him in heaven and that He has a special intimate relationship with our son in heaven.  We know that Jesus touched our child while still in the womb to show our Thomas who He was and how Thomas could love Jesus.  Ask Jesus to touch your child.  Ask Jesus to heal your child if it is His will. Jesus Loves your child just the way he is.

Please consider that the doctors are not always correct in their diagnosis. Many parents who choose life are surprised to find the diagnosis incorrect.

 

Sadly some abort their children when they learn their baby has a condition not compatible with life.  I just don't understand why.  I'm so glad for the time we were give with him from Jesus (Keith and I seriously suspect Our Lord gave us a little extra).  He lived out his life as Jesus wished.  I pray all parents would give their children the same chance.  How can we know what Jesus does with these children in the womb?  Their lives, however short, have a purpose according to God's plan, too.  If we had known beforehand that Thomas had this condition, we still would have let him live for as long as God willed.

 

So thank you for the memorial page of Thomas and for all of your prayers!

 

Holly Bodoh, Milwaukee, WI

 

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Many defects incompatible with life

 

BABY ALEXANDER ROBERT WAS BORN APRIL 18TH-AFTER AN EASY DELIVERY -5 LBS, 13OZ. HE PASSED INTO THE ARMS OF OUR LORD,3 DAYS LATER SURROUNDED BY HIS LOVING FAMILY.

 

HE HAD MANY DEFECTS-BLINDNESS, DEAFNESS, BRAIN DEFORMITY, AND A HEART DEFECT, TO NAME A FEW.

 

PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED HOWEVER, IN THAT THE BABY GOT TO GO HOME IN HOSPICE CARE AND HIS PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS WERE THERE AND GOT TO LOVE HIM AND HOLD HIM EVERY MIN OF HIS SHORT LIFE. IT GAVE EVERYONE TIME TO BOND WITH THIS DEAR LITTLE ANGEL.

 

HE WAS BAPTIZED AND HAD A FUNERAL IN WHICH THE PRIEST PUT EVERYONE AT EASE AND WAS A VERY COMPASSIONATE PRIEST. BEN & CHRISTINE SAID THEY WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS ANY OTHER WAY. THE JOY AND LOVE THEY FEEL FOR THEIR LITTLE PRECIOUS ONE WILL REMAIN IN THERE HEARTS AND MEMORY FOREVER!

 

WHEN THEY ARRIVED HOME, HOSPICE WAS WAITING FOR THEM AT THE DOOR.! THEY TOOK CARE OF ALL THE DETAILS FOR THE BURIAL AND EVERYTHING.

 

THEY ARE NOT ANGRY, BUT FULL OF JOY AS TO HAVE MADE THIS DECISION TO SEE THIS TO THE END. NOW CHRISTINE AND BEN WANT TO HELP OTHERS IN THIS SITUATION. THEY ARE IN A SUPPORT GROUP AND FEEL  GOD CAN USE THEM IN A SPECIAL WAY. THESE 2 AGENCIES HELPED THEM SO MUCH! "NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP" AND "MISSING GRACE". THE  WHOLE EXPERIENCE LEFT THEM WITH SUCH PEACE IN THEIR HEARTS KNOWING HE IS IN GOD'S LOVING ARMS!

 

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS!

YOU GUYS ARE THE GREATEST!

LOVE, SUE

 

My Child, My Gift: A Positive Response to Serious Prenatal Diagnosis

To contact publisher, please email New City Press

To contact author, please email Madeline Pecora Nugent

 

Would you like to have a copy of this book mailed to a particular physician, health care provider, geneticist, member of the clergy, place of worship, educational institution, library, pregnancy counseling agency, friend, relative, or other individual? Or can you give them a copy of this book? The Confraternity of Penitents supports the distribution of this book to such groups and individuals and offers a $5 discount on each book so ordered through the CFP Holy Angels on-line gift shop. See this link for more information.